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The Lone One
Saturday, November 14, 2009
----------Lone Part 3------------
I'm sinking in that quicksand.
And now, I thought about many things.
I did the only thing I could.
I swam. Or at least I tried. I reached the sandbank and pulled myself up.
Almost choked to death.
Then I suddenly wished I should have just let myself die there.
Because, I suddenly seem to have awaken from a dream.
I dunno if I had made a right choice in pulling myself up.
Then I looked in front.
I thought it was just going to be a lonely, dark journey.
But I was wrong. This journey is a torture,
It makes me feel so hurt.
How can I continue this journey?
After this experience in the pool of sand,
I realised the may things I cant do.
I can't swim, I can't cycle,
I lose my sense of directions easily.
Even when I thought I can focus when things are in distraught,
I was wrong.
It was probably a silent consolation that I can at least do something.
But the journey made sure I was wrong.
It made me admit to myself that I can't do anything.
I look at myself, I think of all the 1000 simple abilties that a human
Of my age can do, and I think I can do none.
I'm weak...
How can I hope to win the treasure I wanted,
The treasure that got me started on this journey in the first place.
I regretted my actions.
I regretted thinking that the Light was the treasure I pursued,
And ended up in this quicksand
I shouldn't have set out on this journey afterall.
I was happy before I thought about it so much.
I thought I could get the treasure if I put in sincerity and tried.
I thought I had the quality and ability to do so.
But now, I realised I thought too highly of myself.
I sat on a boulder, and tears came.
In my real life, I would never, and I mean Never!
Let tears flow.
But inside, in this journey, this is my journey.
I cannot fool my own eyes.
I know although outside, I don't let tears flow,
But right now, right here, I know I sat on a boulder
and let them flow. No one would see know, except myself,
There no need to hide my tears in my own world.
What should I do now?
What can I do?
Doubtful, Worthless.
Adios
This Is Seriously Just A Story. Labels: Lone
InMyOwnWorld
I been posting sequels to that story I started not too long. So I will try to write it on a total post on it's own and label it. It's labelled as "Lone"
If cant find thhat post, I have also linked it at the Links section of my blog
, under "Life"
-----------------------------------------------------
Anyways, went swimming with Jeric, Osel, Joey, Jieying, Hazeline Zihan, Chen Xi.
Lol, it was pretty fun.
After that got total pwned by Jeric at racing games
Well, I totally sucked at racing games.
Or more......
Did a lot of thinking well I swam. Or trying to swim. -.-
Haven't really learnt how to swim.
I mean not even basics.
But still able to swim.
I cant believe I learnt to run without learning to walk.
No wonder I can't run properly.
Thought about stuff.
Things that is pushing and pulling.
Been trying to push, but somethings just kept pulling me back
Finally, was gonna push away yesterday, but
I got pulled all the way back.
I know this won't make sense to readers, so ignore this.
I'm having so many doubts now.
What if...
What if...
What if...
Can I...
Can I...
So many doubts.
So overall, yesterday was really fun.
Like, really really fun.
Minus that getting lost and that doubting part
Adios
Deluding Myself, Trying To Convince Myself Of A Fact I Can't Change
InMyOwnWorld
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Just watch finished "Hotel Rwanda".
Nice.
Really interesting.
======================================
So many people died. Because of some stupid things like
I don't like your race. etc.
Just because the tutsi once oppressed the hutu, the hutu set out
On ethnic cleansing.
Such a horrible prospect.
The UN were kinda pathetic there.
Cant blame there. They no support.
The survivors of the war were lucky ones.
Because they were ambushed my the Hutu Army.
It was the UN and foreign army that saved them.
After the show, there was a epilogue.
It said, millions of body were left on the streets.
Sad story.
=========================================
Anyways... lessons are boring these days =.=
Adios
I Don't Know What's The Right Choice.
InMyOwnWorld
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Post Exams mood is the air.
Somehow, I'm not enjoying the freedom of
No more exams.
Maybe because my EOY marks are reflected from my actions
But, nevertheless, it's the road ahead that matters
Sometimes, the speed that times fies really scares me.
I'm almost sec 4 so fast.
And I'm gonna take 'O' levels in like 11 months' time.
And if you think that's short,
Then, before you know it, you might already reached that stage.
Anyway, I can't believe I can remember what Mr Gui said
In his last lesson.
The Way To Find Happiness Will Be Not To Find Happiness,
Because Where There Is Happiness, There Is Sadness.
And That, The Higher The Hopes You Bear,
The Greater The Disappointment
Been tired nowadays. Each time, I reached home,
Ate Lunch, bathed,
Then slept after playing music.
And I will wake up around 7+
Just Like Today.
Reply to Osel's tag:
Perhaps wad you said about friends is true.
But I really don't like it though.
I don't mean disliking your view,
I mean disliking that the world was made this way,
And most of the time, it's just like that.
Shall update my profile on a new wishlist.
( When I Feel Like It )
Firstly, gonna work out. Really need tat.
Zzz Zzz
Bored once again.
Anyone wanna chat?
Lol.
Adios
I Can't Tell You What To Do, But I Can Tell You To Forget It. Forget Everything I've Said.
InMyOwnWorld
Friday, October 30, 2009
I'll try to make this really short, Cause I'm tired to blog.
Went for Cambodia packing today.
Started work around 9 and ended at...
I forgot? 1? 2?
around there?
Then helped laihong to pack her "Food For Thought"
Overall, I think I saw boxes
more than I ever seen in my life.
Cause I helped to pack last Wednesday, and the Wednesday before that.
I don't think I ever handled that much boxes in my life.
And tape. And Keys.
Reached home round 5. Bathed then slept.
Woke up around 9.
Wow.
Results sucked too.
Many Cs.
Adios
Police Tape, Chalk Line
InMyOwnWorld
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Hmm...
Been really playing com a lot these days.
Class is getting boring
Anyways, main reason for posting
Rants On Life:
----Note-------------------
The following comments are not suitable for kids under or over age of 15,
born after Feb 25, Born before Feb 25, and not by the name of Dean Lee Zi Yang.
In other words, Dun Read This.
If you get offended, it's not my prob.
-----disclaimer----------------------
Sometimes Your Jokes Are Really Too Much. It May Not To Seem To Matter To You,
But That Doesn't Mean Others Don't Mind. It's Fine When You Joke About It A Few Times, But Not When It Becomes Suaning Everyday.
I Don't Insult The Things You Do, Even If I Don't Like It.
-------------------------------
Don't Use Our Friendship Against Me.
I Have My Own Life, My Own Privacy.
I May Let You Know Some Things, But
When Sometimes It Involves My Own Privacy,
I Hope You Would Respect Me Decision Not To Share It With You.
But You Used Our Friendship Against Me
Somewhat Threatened Me.
I Don't Know If You Meant That As A Threat,
But I Really Hate This.
It Ain't The First Time.
I Think I've Been Relatively Giving In.
Not Anymore.
Threaten me all you ppl want.
Crap all you ppl want
I don't really care anymore.
Like I said in the story,
You guys are just like the images in my life,
Blown away by a wind,
Gone in a wisp.
So by all means, go ahead.
Adios
Go Away.
InMyOwnWorld
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Yay.
Twisted my ankle on Friday
Skipped CCA.
Skipped CCA to have a little bit of fun,
Then went and Twist my ankle.
How fun.
Anyways, been really bored last two days
Like, wanna go out or something, just that kinda broke.
Okay main reason for posting today.
----------------Lone Part 2-------------------
As I continued walking, I came upon a cross road.
I know which route which would suited me best.
So I walked down that road.
Then I made a mistake.
I looked back.
That has been known to be a fatal mistake made my many.
I looked back, and thought about the other path.
I thought I saw light at the end of that path.
I started to imagine all the good things.
And when I did, my senses lost control.
The desire took control.
I backtracked, ignoring all the signals and warnings to me.
I reached that crossroad again.
I convinced myself this would be the end of a long, sick journey.
The light I saw must have meant happiness.
I ran straight at it, ignoring all the warnings my sub-consciousness
Was screaming at me
Then I fell into this quicksand.
I stoned.
I really though I had seen light.
Turned out to be a broken mirrior reflecting off light from the dimishing stars.
Broken hope.
I began to sank into this quicksand, and then I regretted.
I regretted losing my senses.
Haven't once taught me enough?
And now, I'm sinking.
Is this the end?
-----------------------------------------
Miss music.
Miss drawing.
Oh well, leading a really boring life.
Adios
Drowning In The River Of Denial
Labels: Lone
InMyOwnWorld
